I was looking through my folder of pictures from first year earlier.

I stumbled across a picture that I forgot I’d ever saved. It was of me and ~someone whom I haven’t spoken to properly for 8 months without it ending in an argument, or it’s just been small talk that feels so forced. And it reminded me of the night it was taken (Halloween as it happens) and a conversation that we had at about 4oclock that morning, when we were both sleepy as fuck (I’d been awake for 21 hours) and he was drunk, and it was a really lovely chat. 

And ever since then I have been in a sub-average mood. If I’ve kept myself busy, by watching the Olympics and Friends With Benefits, I’ve been fine. But the minute I’m not forcing myself to pay attention to something, I feel slightly sad.

I miss having someone care about me the way he did. Not push me to be a different person, but I became a better person anyway.

I don’t miss HIM, I miss the company, and the support, and the comfort, and the sex.

I don’t know, I’m just in a strange mood now. I’d forgotten about this all day, but it’s just all hit me again, and I feel shit about pretty much every aspect of me right now.

I hate getting in these funks, for fuck sake.